Wednesday April 11th, 2012

Today I didn’t have work. I slowly got up after a little lie in and I went downstairs and sat on my laptop for what seemed like 5 minutes but it was actually hours. Before I knew it, it was 6’clock so I began to get ready for the work party which was at 7.30

I got there and I knew a few faces but it was packed with people I had never met. I chatted to a few people and then my friends arrived. We hung out for a bit in the court yard and got given little tickets which put us in our groups for the dungeon. 

We then went on to the court yard where we got champagne and then our group was called to go into the last 3 room of the dungeons (it was the witches ball so the staff could see the new dungeon room ‘witches of warwick’). So we went in it was dark and scary, how i remember it from the first time I went in. The witches of warwick room was worse. people jumped out at you it was just horrible. After that me and Kirsty went to the great hall where we had dinner of chicken and rice and there was the bar and the dance floor.

I had a beer with my meal and that on from that the drinks kept coming. Rob kept buying me loads of sambuca and by 11.30 I was trashed. I didn’t want to leave so Elliot said instead of picking me up at 11.30 he would come when it finished at 1.30 

It was an amazing night. It’s surprising how much I remember really. I know I was sick a lot when I got home. 

The dance floor.

Rob me and Joe

Tuesday April 10th, 2012

Today I went into work and I was feeling refreshed and happy. I was also going around asking everyone if they were attending the ball which is tomorrow. Hardly anyone I know is going but I guess that way it’s more fun, and I can make friends! 

Edited note: Today was mine and Elliot’s 9 month together. I only now realize this on the 15th… oops! 

Saturday 7th April, 2012

Today me and Steph woke up and went to my mums work to help her set up for tomorrows fair. At 12 Mandy took us to Chichester on her way home and we went shopping and I brought a top and two more pairs of earrings. We went to costa for ages and then decided to go back to my house to watch a movie to which Steph fell asleep! Later at 6 o’clock me and mum took Steph home and then went to meet Megan and her mum at a restaurant which we ended up skipping for Indian, which was lovely. After that I went back to Megan’s and we have been on Tumblr all evening (cool kids) and now she is singing to Disney whilst her fucking Internet decides not to work.

March 4th, 2012

Today I had work at 9.30 I was there bang on and did almost everything by myself with minor screw ups.

By 12 we were freezing it was pouring down with rain and at half 12 it started to snow. Finally at 1 my tent was shut as I made no sales and there was no shelter from the weather.

On my way home my hands were turning blue and I could barely feel my fingers. I was home by half 2 and I jumped straight into bed!

I started to text loads of people making sure they are still free for this week and I’m seeing Steph and Ellie
on Friday, Megan on Saturday and Emily tomorrow so I’m really exited as I have not seen them in months!

I had a lovely bath to warm up my legs and am now watching crapy tv to pass the time away!

Early train tomorrow at 8.30! So I’ll be nice and wary into Chichester by 12 :) so exited!

January 19, 2012

Yesterday I went to meet my friend Joe. Me and Elliot had planned to set up Joe with one of Elliot’s friends so I met up with him before to calm the nerves. I went to get my nails done and dragged him with me bless him. Then we went to watch War Horse… which is amazing by the way even though I didn’t get to watch all of it. We had to leave early to go and meet Elliot and this girl.

So anyway, it was rather awkward because Joe was trying to make friends with Elliot I was trying to get to know Elliot’s friend and when I took Joe back to his car he said “it’s hard to talk to a girl who’s staring admiringly at your boyfriend” it did upset me because I could kind of see it too. I know she likes/liked him whatever but basically she can’t have him is the main point.

Putting that aside she is a nice girl. But I can’t let the fact go that when I got together with Elliot she did really like him and I just don’t believe something like that would go away. I don’t know what i’m meant to do? If I keep mentioning it i’m scared that I will eventually push him away because of my fear. Guys like girls with confidence. I only have confidence when i’m half drunk and i barely ever go out. Would help if I actually had friends where I live. She did invite me out for a night with her and her friends… but, if I get drunk around her i’m scared of what i’ll say plus I think she is only asking because Elliot asked her to… he must have done she doesn’t know me.

My mind just circulates with problems. Who ever said love was a good thing? i can tell you 98% of the time it just hurts.

January 30th, 2012

Today me and Elliot spent the morning watching ‘House’. Elliot’s not very well so i was being the sympathetic girlfriend (as usual) its not a good thing being the most sympathetic person ever. Then he found out that his favorite resident died which really got to me as I knew it would affect him. He’s not an emotional person,  he doesn’t cry stuff like that but I comforted him because I know that really he is upset he’s just not showing it. 

So when he left I did my usual chores… then showered and decided I needed to go out. So I got my bike out of the shed and cycled to Tesco. I handed in a CV and brought some lunch. I then cycled to the local park and saw a recruitment sign at the kids amusement park so I called up to ask for a application for that. So hopefully I can do that over the summer. 

I went to sit in the park reading a magazine but stupid me cycled the muddiest way possible so my back and trousers were covered. Plus it was freezing cold so I decided to cycle home and just get into bed! 

I rang my mum on the way home. But she is always so busy when I ring that i barely get to talk to her. But i’m so happy that she is having a lush time setting up her business with my aunt. My mum is coming up on Friday to pick me up and then we are going to Birmingham to a furniture show then I’ve decided to go back to Chichester with her to see my family but i’m not going for long as I can’t cope being away from Elliot for too long I miss him too much. I’m also happy that I’ve planned to go to the cinema with Megan to see journey to the center of the earth 2. We went to see the first one together a few years ago so we have made it a tradition. Plus i’ve missed her a lot and she is practically my only friend that has stood by me through everything. 

January 10th, 2012

Today has been hard, really missing Elliot. He’s no good with expression so whenever I talk to him he seems absolutely fine for me to be away. He says that he misses me. But I just don’t feel it. I don’t know why. And I hate it because I don’t know whether he actually does and he’s just useless at expressing himself haha! I sound so pathetic. But I just want to go home now. Supposed to be going back on Thursday but I think I’m going to get my mum to take me to Southampton and then I’ll get in at 21.10 and I’ll walk up to Elliot’s work and surprise him. It’s a good plan until I get there and find out he left work early or something stupid then i’m left in the middle of town!! 

Never mind I’ll see how that idea pans out! 

Last night after Alyssa’s meal I went over to my friends Jade’s house and we talked for hours… then we were fast asleep! Was so tired! Then today we stayed in bed till I left at 3ish. It was fun but I’d be laying down so long I actually felt like I had been standing for hours? Bizarre. I wont see her for a while now. It would be nice if my friends from here would make the effort to come and visit me. Although I can’t really pressure them as they all have college they aren’t drop outs like moi. 

Me and My Best Friend Steph

Me and Georgie

I remember…

I remember during the only few days i was at home last summer (august 2011) I had Jade and Megan over to stay and I hadn’t seen them in a long time… but I still took a phone call from Elliot. My mum was a bit mad at me, but I knew when they both have boyfriends they’ll understand… but I remember getting off the phone and she said you really shouldn’t have left your friends (in front of them) and i just curled up and said “I can’t help it I really, really like him” and my friends were so happy for me. That was the best feeling.